Your responding to questions-fu is impressive |Da!
Unsurprisingly, Kit is super shaken up by the game too, though it wasn't so much the decision process that got him as it was the result. He had been warned and warned time and time again that a game like this might happen, so he was pretty mentally prepared for it, and with the way the mechanics worked and how Coral played it was set up in such a way that he doesn't overtly feel like he is solely responsible for any team's death. It was why he could suck up his tension and take charge during the decision making process. It was a bad situation, but choices needed to be made, and he needed to prioritize protecting the room filled with tiny squishy Corals, which is what he did!
BUT. THEN RESULTS HAPPENED. And four teams were massacred, including one of his favorite teams ever (Sapphire). So there is guilt! Guilt in that Coral did play attack stones on the teams that died, guilt that Coral did spread out their defense stones so evenly that even playing one against their favorite teams didn't do much to help them. So while there is guilt that he possibly contributed to the death of some teams by attacking/not defending, this is complicated by guilt of being so helpless during the entire thing. Kit hates the feeling of losing control and not being able to play by his own rules, and this game essentially had no outs for him to cheat the system or protect his friends. It makes him feel terrible, powerless, and overwhelmingly guilty, which is something that is going to stick with him for a long time. Again, though, in true Kit fashion... he sucked up these emotions during endgame to fret over Sapphire and his team tinies :(a So while Kit is sort of... not in a good place mentally right now, being stressed and tense and helpless and upset, he's forcing himself to keep a strong and sturdy face both of his team and for those who were hurt. It's likely he'll be hella tense for quite a few days after this, and tbh I imagine he's going to have to pick up some kind of nervous habit to cope with all of these repressed feelings (the ones he has now just aren't going to cut it). But he's a well of terrible feels and yet is doing his damnedest to suppress them.
Tbh, if Coral had died/actually overtly killed a team/been seriously wounded he might have broken a bit more, sob. He's on a slow spiral in that direction as he is now despite his bravado, so... it's just a matter of time.
Do you ever see Madoka beginning to press for self-sacrifice in trauma games? If so, would it require a certain set of memories/development, or is she falling in line with the Coral philosophy of "protect ourselves first, others second?"
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Date: 11 May 2012 20:00 (UTC)Unsurprisingly, Kit is super shaken up by the game too, though it wasn't so much the decision process that got him as it was the result. He had been warned and warned time and time again that a game like this might happen, so he was pretty mentally prepared for it, and with the way the mechanics worked and how Coral played it was set up in such a way that he doesn't overtly feel like he is solely responsible for any team's death. It was why he could suck up his tension and take charge during the decision making process. It was a bad situation, but choices needed to be made, and he needed to prioritize protecting the room filled with tiny squishy Corals, which is what he did!
BUT. THEN RESULTS HAPPENED. And four teams were massacred, including one of his favorite teams ever (Sapphire). So there is guilt! Guilt in that Coral did play attack stones on the teams that died, guilt that Coral did spread out their defense stones so evenly that even playing one against their favorite teams didn't do much to help them. So while there is guilt that he possibly contributed to the death of some teams by attacking/not defending, this is complicated by guilt of being so helpless during the entire thing. Kit hates the feeling of losing control and not being able to play by his own rules, and this game essentially had no outs for him to cheat the system or protect his friends. It makes him feel terrible, powerless, and overwhelmingly guilty, which is something that is going to stick with him for a long time. Again, though, in true Kit fashion... he sucked up these emotions during endgame to fret over Sapphire and his team tinies :(a So while Kit is sort of... not in a good place mentally right now, being stressed and tense and helpless and upset, he's forcing himself to keep a strong and sturdy face both of his team and for those who were hurt. It's likely he'll be hella tense for quite a few days after this, and tbh I imagine he's going to have to pick up some kind of nervous habit to cope with all of these repressed feelings (the ones he has now just aren't going to cut it). But he's a well of terrible feels and yet is doing his damnedest to suppress them.
Tbh, if Coral had died/actually overtly killed a team/been seriously wounded he might have broken a bit more, sob. He's on a slow spiral in that direction as he is now despite his bravado, so... it's just a matter of time.
Do you ever see Madoka beginning to press for self-sacrifice in trauma games? If so, would it require a certain set of memories/development, or is she falling in line with the Coral philosophy of "protect ourselves first, others second?"