Question Meme!

[twilight_boy]

Well, nobody's at an appropriately round number of comments, but I want to do a question meme and hey, lots of major things have happened recently. Like that one game last night...

Have at! This goes for Roxas and Madoka.

Comments

[blackjacked]

Your responding to questions-fu is impressive |Da!

Unsurprisingly, Kit is super shaken up by the game too, though it wasn't so much the decision process that got him as it was the result. He had been warned and warned time and time again that a game like this might happen, so he was pretty mentally prepared for it, and with the way the mechanics worked and how Coral played it was set up in such a way that he doesn't overtly feel like he is solely responsible for any team's death. It was why he could suck up his tension and take charge during the decision making process. It was a bad situation, but choices needed to be made, and he needed to prioritize protecting the room filled with tiny squishy Corals, which is what he did!

BUT. THEN RESULTS HAPPENED. And four teams were massacred, including one of his favorite teams ever (Sapphire). So there is guilt! Guilt in that Coral did play attack stones on the teams that died, guilt that Coral did spread out their defense stones so evenly that even playing one against their favorite teams didn't do much to help them. So while there is guilt that he possibly contributed to the death of some teams by attacking/not defending, this is complicated by guilt of being so helpless during the entire thing. Kit hates the feeling of losing control and not being able to play by his own rules, and this game essentially had no outs for him to cheat the system or protect his friends. It makes him feel terrible, powerless, and overwhelmingly guilty, which is something that is going to stick with him for a long time. Again, though, in true Kit fashion... he sucked up these emotions during endgame to fret over Sapphire and his team tinies :(a So while Kit is sort of... not in a good place mentally right now, being stressed and tense and helpless and upset, he's forcing himself to keep a strong and sturdy face both of his team and for those who were hurt. It's likely he'll be hella tense for quite a few days after this, and tbh I imagine he's going to have to pick up some kind of nervous habit to cope with all of these repressed feelings (the ones he has now just aren't going to cut it). But he's a well of terrible feels and yet is doing his damnedest to suppress them.

Tbh, if Coral had died/actually overtly killed a team/been seriously wounded he might have broken a bit more, sob. He's on a slow spiral in that direction as he is now despite his bravado, so... it's just a matter of time.

Do you ever see Madoka beginning to press for self-sacrifice in trauma games? If so, would it require a certain set of memories/development, or is she falling in line with the Coral philosophy of "protect ourselves first, others second?"

[twilight_boy]

It would occur to Madoka, and then, she'd think it through and realize it meant hurting Coral, so there's no win, no win ever. If other Corals wanted it, the way Emerald does, she'd go with that, but she'd never suggest it. Really, she has no 'better solution' for this type of game. She can't get any distance at all, just panic. Which she tries to sit on, as best she can.

What she wants is to protect *everyone,* which means looking for trick solutions, but she's not together enough or bossy enough to push through even her own self-sacrifice, let alone other people's.

Is this the first time Kit's been in a game/situation where people died, in Aather?

[blackjacked]

Not exactly! He was around for Beauty's mass suicide game back in October, though that entire game had a different feel to him because it was self-sacrifice, not attacking other teams. This was the first game he played in where teams had to attack other teams, and where teams were (somewhat, barring those who self-sacrificed) responsible for each other's deaths/injuries. He managed to make the decision a lot more calmly than I expected, though if this game had occurred earlier in his Aather arc, it would have gone a looooot differently for Coral sob.

Kit has also died once in a heart game due to a series of bad decisions, and other teams have died around him during games as well, so... he was a bit used to seeing death by the time this game ended. The whole "teams attack other teams" was the spin on this game that made it extra awful. That, and an entire four teams died, which is a huge number even with teams dying in other games.

How do you think Madoka would react to her dying/Coral dying for the first time? /ASKS TERRIBLE QUESTIONS

[twilight_boy]

Her dying... it would hurt, and be upsetting, and she'd break down for a bit, but she'd ultimately be more okay than not. Waking up to other Corals dead/dying/reviving? Yeah, that's a full on BSOD quite possibly. Unless they needed her, or there was something she could do.

(Are you canon-literate for Madoka?) There's one scene where a witch is trying to brainwash a whole bunch of people into a mass suicide, and Madoka starts just *acting* as much as she can, though she's a civ. She only falls apart *after* she's done everything she could to stop it and gets cornered.

But yeah, unless she feels needed, Coral death = BSOD.

I just heard about you dropping Mitsuru, on Plurk. :( Are you planning on re-apping her, or apping another character when apps open again?

[blackjacked]

I am canon literate for Madoka! Such a good series.

For now, the plan is to reapp her in June when the window opens, but if I'm feeling another character when that happens I may push back her reapp until the fall when the window opens again :|a But she will definitely be reapped! I just need a quick break before I pick her up again.

Do you plan on reapping Shion? :O?

[twilight_boy]

I... may under some conditions? I miss her Aather CR a lot, and I miss Sapphire specifically a lot. But I also cornered myself with her, where she felt like she had no reason to take her memories. She's a dissociative, avoidant mess, and her memories weren't really making her care about much back home aside from KOS-MOS and maybe Kevin. Whereas in Aather, she had a team she was genuinely attaching to hardcore, and she was attaching to *Aather* hardcore. Moreover, her memories tend to be pretty traumatic, so without immediate payoff... So why take anything that's not a skill ever again, right? She's got a better life here.

So basically, I think I'd want a canonmate if I was going to reapp her, particularly one who'd kick her into taking her FDGHJKGF memories. Otherwise, she'll happily stay with an incomplete picture forever. See also: dissociative and avoidant.

Have I asked you about your Persona app yet? My brain is mush.

[blackjacked]

I apped a Persona who would let me be a terrible person basically :'Da It's Pandora, from the famous Pandora's Box myth, and she'll essentially be a pure trauma Persona who only runs terribad games if she gets accepted '-' It'll fall in line with the fact that she was the one who released suffering/tragedy into the world via opening Pandora's Box, and she'll favor those who tend to remain hopeful in tragic situations :U

I remember you talking about running a potential trauma game a while back on plurk! Is it a secret or can you tell me a little bit about it? :O?

[twilight_boy]

Oooh, this Persona sounds fun! ...For the players.

Well, it got inspired by the phrase "deadly popularity contest" It'll be all about placing protection points on people you care about. No attack points, but if you don't protect people enough, well, guess they're just screwed. Oh, and the cost for protecting knights is double. This will actually be a pretty wysiwyg game.

Do you have specific games in mind for Pandora yet? If they're not secret.

[blackjacked]

I have one! And since it's super straightforward, it's not really a spoiler to talk about it, so. Essentially I'd like to run human Battleship with her sometime, similar to Mother's human chess game only with Battleship. And being 'sunk' for characters essentially means unpleasant consequences, i.e. injuries and potential death. The mechanics are still a little fuzzy but I'm still working through them, and I think it could be a fun game '-'a Though I'd have to run it at a time when things are slow and not trauma-ful as they have been lately to space out the impact the game might have on characters :x I'd have to space out a lot of Pandora's games if she's accepted, just to make sure we don't suddenly have a TON OF TRAUMA GAMES all at once since pacing is important :Da;

Do you have any specific plans for your two within the upcoming months?

[twilight_boy]

I mostly tend to just go and see where the game takes me. It's difficult to predict things. Like, I thought Roxas and Ven would figure out the mutual death thing, um, in less time than a year. Games happen. New characters come into game. Everything changes. And that's how I like it. I like being surprised by both what happens to my characters and who my characters become.

Reverse?

[blackjacked]

I'm beginning to push Kit toward heart game eligibility! Probably not next heart game round, but he's getting there. I also plan on balancing out his Kid memories with Kaito memories once one of his canonmates gets in the game. That's it so far, otherwise I am also just cruising along.

... I WILL THINK OF A QUESTION AND COME BACK '-'a

[twilight_boy]

Squee, Kit heart game!

...That reminds me: Madoka peeps need to run heart games more (or at all) Their world would make for awesome heart games!

I'll run one with her eventually, in the hypothetical future.

[blackjacked]

Yeeeees Madoka heart games would be amazing :D I'd definitely look forward to those.

[twilight_boy]

There'd be so many people signing up, I think!

[scalesfromeyes]

oh gosh I have no brain for questions but I am sitting here going :3c :3c

M-madoka's trauma game development is running a bit on parallel lines to Ginshu's with the Coral vs. self-sacrifice thing 8D

[twilight_boy]

*hugs Ginshu forever*

[scalesfromeyes]

Nooo, I think Madoka's the one who needs the hugs-- Ginshu managed to circumvent some of the uselessness issues just by virtue of being one of the members from the very beginning and thus having something to push back against people trying to protect her in the beginning. But it's really fascinating how characters with self-sacrificial tendencies in Coral tend to react along similar lines. ♥

[twilight_boy]

It'll be interesting to see how things progress, definitely.

[blackjacked]

I find it interesting that a lot of younger Coral members parallel older member development, too! I remember we talked about Hikaru developing sort of how Zelos did, i.e. not wanting Coral or anyone on Coral to be hurt. Whereas Kit developed similarly to Hound, i.e. self-sacrifice all the way until suddenly realizing that Coral was more important.

It is super fascinating :3c ♥!

[twilight_boy]

Now I want a chart of who grew up into whom. :)