Question Meme!

[twilight_boy]

Well, nobody's at an appropriately round number of comments, but I want to do a question meme and hey, lots of major things have happened recently. Like that one game last night...

Have at! This goes for Roxas and Madoka.

Comments

[soundandfury]

first impressions?

[twilight_boy]

Good gods above, do a lot of Lightning's attitudes and impressions when she first dropped in remind Roxas of his own in the same situation. It's kind of eerie. The big difference is she seems to have a strong impression of herself/her own morality, even with no memories, where he didn't.

Her arrival's hit him in a lot of feelings he's kind of buried, cause he still has some resentment at the whole Aather kidnapping thing, it's just also a better option than what he's got left in canon.

That said, he likes and respects her and hopes she'll do okay in Aather and Emerald. His impression of her is tough and capable, which is an awesome thing.

Reverse?

[doesnothappen]

How's Roxas doing after last night's game?

Also when can we thread '^'

[pchaaair]

How did Madoka feel about the game last night?

[twilight_boy]

Ungood! All the ungood! This wasn't the sort of situation she could approach in any useful or rational fashion, so she just kind of shut down, which means it's going to trigger her "I'm a useless coward" issues from canon. The others worked things out, to protect Coral, but it wasn't really her doing, and then *three of the other teams she most wanted to protect* wound up dead. And she's going to take a memory soon which is going to hit/reinforce all those issues.

What was it like on Tavros's end?

[twilight_boy]

He's... IDEFK. He held it together and did a lot of the organizing for Emerald doing its Emerald thing. Which was a good self-esteem/morale boost. ....And then, he found out that his actions (i.e. dying enthusiastically) got Ven killed. He's trying his best to not be a lump of misery, since that's not what his team needs of him right now (and Roxas is one of those people who's tougher on himself than on others.) But he's kind of a lump of misery with poor acting skills.

I could put him out in the unlock, for threading purposes?

How's Mau, after the aforementioned game?

[medpacksapunch]

Lightning was slightly grump grump grump at him (and... the rest of Emerald) for kind of immediately being like Hi welcome to Our Team which you are now A Part Of and this is how Emerald Is which, have we mentioned, is now you also.

And it wasn't even anything like 'we take all the damage on ourselves' like in the game last night, but more 'we are like a family' because she was like 'you do not know me you can't make me your family also that seems like it might be a bad idea for you, what kind of terrible strategy is this'

But then Roxas kind of backed off it when Asuka didn't, so she could focus her irritation there :x And overall he has been very solid and full of good information, and not super pressury. He's kind of casual in a way she doesn't really get, but it's not enough to be off-putting.

So... how is Ven's connection going to upset Emerald Strategy? ^^a

[orange_sun]

I feel like I should ask a question but I am braindead, so. What question should I ask you?

[twilight_boy]

Right now, his brain keeps glitching out every time he tries to think about it, but ultimately, I think he's going to a) talk to Ven, and b) go find a Persona who can give him a quest to block the link during trauma games/other times where his dying is likely.

Obviously, other Emeralds will get a say in the matter (and Mage knows what went down,) but Roxas would do almost anything to not mess up Emerald's way of coping in this sort of thing. Cause when Emerald fails to cope by fuck-the-system self-sacrifice, it's kinda not pretty. See also: Three revenge game.

Lightning's general impression of trauma game and aftermath?

[twilight_boy]

Good question. :p

Ummm... I could always stand to ramble about potential third apps/general characters of interest?

[pchaaair]

NOT GOOD. Like. It actually might have been a little better (not much) if Tavros actually had troll memories that reinforce the "KILL OR BE KILLED" mentality that's been shoved onto all trolls, but he doesn't. So we end up with A LOT OF FEELINGS and then Ruby died. :x Which created a whole new bunch of BAD FEELINGS. Also goddamn dying sucks a lot and reviving is painful. '^'a

Madoka do you want to learn how to build sandcastles. They're good for when you have a lot of bad feelings. '-'

[orange_sun]

It's all I can think of to start with. :P

Sure, okay. Any plans for a third, assuming you got the time and energy?

[twilight_boy]

Oh my god, yes! All the sandcastles! She would love that.

What are Tavros's relationships with various canonmates like now?

[twilight_boy]

Assuming those things, there are two characters I've kind of been thinking about:

One is Himemiya Anthy, from Shoujo Kakumei Utena. Who I specifically want to app onto Peridot, because she needs to interact with Beato and they need to be witchy together. Because I think being around another witch would be super good and interesting for her, as it's something she doesn't get to do in canon. It'll also be nice to have someone more ruthless than my average. I feel like some of my answers on the app questionnaire are practically the same for every character. Like the sacrifice of one for the good of many question. It would be interesting to have someone with a different notion of sacrifice in my roster.

The other is Roxy Lalonde, from Homestuck. Unfortunately, her dream team would be Emerald, which, playercest. Because she has the drank bit down, and is silly, but kind of brilliant, and I'd get to play her in dream posts all the time, cause she *does that in canon,* and I kind of want her to have the chance to interact with people face-to-face outside of dreams. And her mom, who she's never met, and who thinks of Roxy as *her* mom, is in game. And. Yeah.

How is Josh doing after last night's shenanigans?

[blackjacked]

How's Madoka holding up after Jabberwock's terribad game... '-'

eta: WHICH WAS SORT OF ALREADY ASKED so let's go for a relationship update instead!

[orange_sun]

...hahaha. Ha.

Okay, summarizing and updating my plurkramble, he is...not doing well. His foundation -- that TE will be stable, will get through games without breaking each other, and will always be able to compromise into a solution -- got seriously rocked, because Sieh was basically like "I don't want to compromise at all" and Naoto was having every feeling. Their knights flipped the fuck out despite being as much voice as any other teammate (and Dave Strider was a huge dick about everything). He basically tried to take charge and push a solution that would give everyone an approximately equal voice, but that only kind of worked and there were still a lot of feelings.

The thing about Josh is that, while he's hard to traumatize into inaction, if he's uncertain he has a high likelyhood of dealing with it by getting angry. And in this situation, that happened. But he rationally knew -- and TE has ingrained enough control into him that it mattered -- that it wouldn't be fair to take that out on anyone. So he just kind of...shoved it down during the game -- snarked at Dave a little, but that's all.

Then! He came out of the game and saw that Roxas, Ven and Mau were all dead! Three of his absolute favorite people. Which did wonders for his sanity, let me tell you. He basically hurled himself into Doing Things so he didn't have any time to think -- he comforted Ven and Roxas, he recharged healers, he made an explosion date with Mithos. Because otherwise he would be stuck with that rapidly mounting rage and just...basically have been waiting for a trigger. (And, y'know, because Roxas and Ven are his bro and boyfriend respectively and he feels like it's his responsibility to help where he can.)

He bled some of that off by cuddling on the beach with Ven and some of it by flopping with Mithos, but he's still just...sitting on this huge ball of Feelings with no target. (God help anyone who agresses at him in the next while, honestly.) So of course he comes home to find Ferris beating the shit out of Naoto, nominally training her, but from his perspective it looks like beating her up because of Feelings and because she disagreed with her. Which is Not Okay, and brought all his team worries back to the forefront, because that is not how family treats each other. At that point he just kind of blankscreened and was like "fuck this, I quit today", and so far that's all that's been played out.

So yeah, BASICALLY HE IS A MESS of anger and team worry and quietly afraid that they won't be able to act honorably in games anymore and still be united. Which...Josh is basically holding tightly to both his team unity feelings and his ethical feelings, and basically might be forced to pick one, which will suck. And also his boyfriend is now at double the risk of death in any given death game, which also sucks.

Any additional aftermath thought for Roxas?

[twilight_boy]

I'm actually glad Madoka hasn't taken the "Sayaka to the rescue" memory yet, because that game hit her in all the 'people get hurt and I do nothing, like a useless coward' feelings. And that memory reinforces that hardcore. She's trying to okay her way through, but having a really hard time with it. The fact that people did come back from the dead seriously helps, but still! There'll be moments where she just... kind of folds over, in the next couple of days, all out of cope.

There is a certain determination behind the sads, to be better, but she can't think of how, and... yeah. Not a good time.

How's Kit doing?

[twilight_boy]

...Meanwhile, I already replied to the first one. :p

Madoka loev Kit, a whole lot! He's one of her rocks of stability, and she trusts him absolutely. I think their relationship is sort of parallel to her relationship with Sayaka in canon, in some ways, in that Kit is the decisive one who protects others, but also the one who does stupid things and hurts himself and she can't really do much about it.

Asked question in the original reply.

[doesnothappen]

Mau is kind of just... okay being crushed to a smear and then reviving in reverse is traumatizing, he is pretty traumatized! He is not able to enthusiastically suicide, even if he's willing to die rather than kill anyone else at the behest of jabberwocky. He's a little claustrophobic and disconnected right now, and kind of vacillating between MOVING ON and being pretty shocky still. However, he's feeling zen about Sapphire's choices -- knowing how that felt, he still wouldn't have rather it happened to someone else -- and they didn't purposely suicide, they tried to find the most acceptable workaround. So. He's dealing! He's also murderously furious at Jabberwock but you know.

He's also worried about Ven because Ven is a mess, and about Van because Van is a mess who he worries will snap into some kind of suicidal and/or homicidal downward spiral at any moment.

Also there is a new morning post, since the unlock is now huge! If you would like >.>;

What's Roxas's most interesting CR right now?

[deadofknight]

What are Roxas's feelings about Ace post-trauma game? :3c

[twilight_boy]

Oh, Josh. You need all the hugs.

Roxas's aftermath thoughts right now pretty much go along the lines of 'fffffffffffffffff' Once he's remotely functional, he will stoneface and go to every Persona until he finds one who can temp-null the bond for trauma games and other times of likely death. Right now, he thinks he's stuck in a Catch-22 of 'kill one of the people he loves the most' or 'betray the thing that keeps his team sane and functional,' in any upcoming trauma game, and. His brain glitches. He knows which he'd wind up picking, but he hates the idea of hurting Emerald or presenting as a coward. Which is why the third option is necessary.

Issues. He has them.

Has Tiger's Eye ever reacted to a trauma game like this before?

[oceansoftime]

Madokaaaaaaaa '-' '-' I request relationship update /o/

[blackjacked]

Your responding to questions-fu is impressive |Da!

Unsurprisingly, Kit is super shaken up by the game too, though it wasn't so much the decision process that got him as it was the result. He had been warned and warned time and time again that a game like this might happen, so he was pretty mentally prepared for it, and with the way the mechanics worked and how Coral played it was set up in such a way that he doesn't overtly feel like he is solely responsible for any team's death. It was why he could suck up his tension and take charge during the decision making process. It was a bad situation, but choices needed to be made, and he needed to prioritize protecting the room filled with tiny squishy Corals, which is what he did!

BUT. THEN RESULTS HAPPENED. And four teams were massacred, including one of his favorite teams ever (Sapphire). So there is guilt! Guilt in that Coral did play attack stones on the teams that died, guilt that Coral did spread out their defense stones so evenly that even playing one against their favorite teams didn't do much to help them. So while there is guilt that he possibly contributed to the death of some teams by attacking/not defending, this is complicated by guilt of being so helpless during the entire thing. Kit hates the feeling of losing control and not being able to play by his own rules, and this game essentially had no outs for him to cheat the system or protect his friends. It makes him feel terrible, powerless, and overwhelmingly guilty, which is something that is going to stick with him for a long time. Again, though, in true Kit fashion... he sucked up these emotions during endgame to fret over Sapphire and his team tinies :(a So while Kit is sort of... not in a good place mentally right now, being stressed and tense and helpless and upset, he's forcing himself to keep a strong and sturdy face both of his team and for those who were hurt. It's likely he'll be hella tense for quite a few days after this, and tbh I imagine he's going to have to pick up some kind of nervous habit to cope with all of these repressed feelings (the ones he has now just aren't going to cut it). But he's a well of terrible feels and yet is doing his damnedest to suppress them.

Tbh, if Coral had died/actually overtly killed a team/been seriously wounded he might have broken a bit more, sob. He's on a slow spiral in that direction as he is now despite his bravado, so... it's just a matter of time.

Do you ever see Madoka beginning to press for self-sacrifice in trauma games? If so, would it require a certain set of memories/development, or is she falling in line with the Coral philosophy of "protect ourselves first, others second?"

[twilight_boy]

Relief he's alive is primary, really. He honestly scared the crap out of Roxas after taking that long to come back. Roxas was this close to pretty much telling Jabberwock he'd do anything to get him revived.

That's mixed with concern and sympathy, after seeing his childhood like that. Despite the fact that he found the rage and pain kind of overwhelming, he... he'd have been more o.O at Ace if those *weren't* his feelings at the situation. It's how Roxas himself would have felt. He isn't sure what he thinks of any of it, but I think some part of him made the 'Org XIII could have been this, for me,' analogy. KH is just not as brutal as Ace's canon, in some ways.

Ace, what are your feelings on Zero and Roxas's accidental snooping?

[twilight_boy]

So many feelings! All of them positive, really. Just. Complicated. And intense. There's a lot of trust, and a desire to make things easier for Homura, while knowing she can't. And she's getting more aware every time that there's a crush there, on her end, only she thinks Homura likes someone else, so it's sitting on it time.

She also has this... general impression that her past is so much bigger than she is, and everyone who's not her has it more in hand. Homura especially.

And god, was she ever glad Homura wasn't in that last game. And also glad she'll never know what happened with Kunzite. (Not that she knows, to be glad, but.)

Reverse?