Question Meme!

[twilight_boy]

Well, nobody's at an appropriately round number of comments, but I want to do a question meme and hey, lots of major things have happened recently. Like that one game last night...

Have at! This goes for Roxas and Madoka.

Comments

[soundandfury]

first impressions?

[twilight_boy]

Good gods above, do a lot of Lightning's attitudes and impressions when she first dropped in remind Roxas of his own in the same situation. It's kind of eerie. The big difference is she seems to have a strong impression of herself/her own morality, even with no memories, where he didn't.

Her arrival's hit him in a lot of feelings he's kind of buried, cause he still has some resentment at the whole Aather kidnapping thing, it's just also a better option than what he's got left in canon.

That said, he likes and respects her and hopes she'll do okay in Aather and Emerald. His impression of her is tough and capable, which is an awesome thing.

Reverse?

[medpacksapunch]

Lightning was slightly grump grump grump at him (and... the rest of Emerald) for kind of immediately being like Hi welcome to Our Team which you are now A Part Of and this is how Emerald Is which, have we mentioned, is now you also.

And it wasn't even anything like 'we take all the damage on ourselves' like in the game last night, but more 'we are like a family' because she was like 'you do not know me you can't make me your family also that seems like it might be a bad idea for you, what kind of terrible strategy is this'

But then Roxas kind of backed off it when Asuka didn't, so she could focus her irritation there :x And overall he has been very solid and full of good information, and not super pressury. He's kind of casual in a way she doesn't really get, but it's not enough to be off-putting.

So... how is Ven's connection going to upset Emerald Strategy? ^^a

[doesnothappen]

How's Roxas doing after last night's game?

Also when can we thread '^'

[twilight_boy]

He's... IDEFK. He held it together and did a lot of the organizing for Emerald doing its Emerald thing. Which was a good self-esteem/morale boost. ....And then, he found out that his actions (i.e. dying enthusiastically) got Ven killed. He's trying his best to not be a lump of misery, since that's not what his team needs of him right now (and Roxas is one of those people who's tougher on himself than on others.) But he's kind of a lump of misery with poor acting skills.

I could put him out in the unlock, for threading purposes?

How's Mau, after the aforementioned game?

[doesnothappen]

Mau is kind of just... okay being crushed to a smear and then reviving in reverse is traumatizing, he is pretty traumatized! He is not able to enthusiastically suicide, even if he's willing to die rather than kill anyone else at the behest of jabberwocky. He's a little claustrophobic and disconnected right now, and kind of vacillating between MOVING ON and being pretty shocky still. However, he's feeling zen about Sapphire's choices -- knowing how that felt, he still wouldn't have rather it happened to someone else -- and they didn't purposely suicide, they tried to find the most acceptable workaround. So. He's dealing! He's also murderously furious at Jabberwock but you know.

He's also worried about Ven because Ven is a mess, and about Van because Van is a mess who he worries will snap into some kind of suicidal and/or homicidal downward spiral at any moment.

Also there is a new morning post, since the unlock is now huge! If you would like >.>;

What's Roxas's most interesting CR right now?

[pchaaair]

How did Madoka feel about the game last night?

[twilight_boy]

Ungood! All the ungood! This wasn't the sort of situation she could approach in any useful or rational fashion, so she just kind of shut down, which means it's going to trigger her "I'm a useless coward" issues from canon. The others worked things out, to protect Coral, but it wasn't really her doing, and then *three of the other teams she most wanted to protect* wound up dead. And she's going to take a memory soon which is going to hit/reinforce all those issues.

What was it like on Tavros's end?

[pchaaair]

NOT GOOD. Like. It actually might have been a little better (not much) if Tavros actually had troll memories that reinforce the "KILL OR BE KILLED" mentality that's been shoved onto all trolls, but he doesn't. So we end up with A LOT OF FEELINGS and then Ruby died. :x Which created a whole new bunch of BAD FEELINGS. Also goddamn dying sucks a lot and reviving is painful. '^'a

Madoka do you want to learn how to build sandcastles. They're good for when you have a lot of bad feelings. '-'

[orange_sun]

I feel like I should ask a question but I am braindead, so. What question should I ask you?

[twilight_boy]

Good question. :p

Ummm... I could always stand to ramble about potential third apps/general characters of interest?

[orange_sun]

It's all I can think of to start with. :P

Sure, okay. Any plans for a third, assuming you got the time and energy?

[blackjacked]

How's Madoka holding up after Jabberwock's terribad game... '-'

eta: WHICH WAS SORT OF ALREADY ASKED so let's go for a relationship update instead!

[twilight_boy]

I'm actually glad Madoka hasn't taken the "Sayaka to the rescue" memory yet, because that game hit her in all the 'people get hurt and I do nothing, like a useless coward' feelings. And that memory reinforces that hardcore. She's trying to okay her way through, but having a really hard time with it. The fact that people did come back from the dead seriously helps, but still! There'll be moments where she just... kind of folds over, in the next couple of days, all out of cope.

There is a certain determination behind the sads, to be better, but she can't think of how, and... yeah. Not a good time.

How's Kit doing?

[twilight_boy]

...Meanwhile, I already replied to the first one. :p

Madoka loev Kit, a whole lot! He's one of her rocks of stability, and she trusts him absolutely. I think their relationship is sort of parallel to her relationship with Sayaka in canon, in some ways, in that Kit is the decisive one who protects others, but also the one who does stupid things and hurts himself and she can't really do much about it.

Asked question in the original reply.

[blackjacked]

Your responding to questions-fu is impressive |Da!

Unsurprisingly, Kit is super shaken up by the game too, though it wasn't so much the decision process that got him as it was the result. He had been warned and warned time and time again that a game like this might happen, so he was pretty mentally prepared for it, and with the way the mechanics worked and how Coral played it was set up in such a way that he doesn't overtly feel like he is solely responsible for any team's death. It was why he could suck up his tension and take charge during the decision making process. It was a bad situation, but choices needed to be made, and he needed to prioritize protecting the room filled with tiny squishy Corals, which is what he did!

BUT. THEN RESULTS HAPPENED. And four teams were massacred, including one of his favorite teams ever (Sapphire). So there is guilt! Guilt in that Coral did play attack stones on the teams that died, guilt that Coral did spread out their defense stones so evenly that even playing one against their favorite teams didn't do much to help them. So while there is guilt that he possibly contributed to the death of some teams by attacking/not defending, this is complicated by guilt of being so helpless during the entire thing. Kit hates the feeling of losing control and not being able to play by his own rules, and this game essentially had no outs for him to cheat the system or protect his friends. It makes him feel terrible, powerless, and overwhelmingly guilty, which is something that is going to stick with him for a long time. Again, though, in true Kit fashion... he sucked up these emotions during endgame to fret over Sapphire and his team tinies :(a So while Kit is sort of... not in a good place mentally right now, being stressed and tense and helpless and upset, he's forcing himself to keep a strong and sturdy face both of his team and for those who were hurt. It's likely he'll be hella tense for quite a few days after this, and tbh I imagine he's going to have to pick up some kind of nervous habit to cope with all of these repressed feelings (the ones he has now just aren't going to cut it). But he's a well of terrible feels and yet is doing his damnedest to suppress them.

Tbh, if Coral had died/actually overtly killed a team/been seriously wounded he might have broken a bit more, sob. He's on a slow spiral in that direction as he is now despite his bravado, so... it's just a matter of time.

Do you ever see Madoka beginning to press for self-sacrifice in trauma games? If so, would it require a certain set of memories/development, or is she falling in line with the Coral philosophy of "protect ourselves first, others second?"

[deadofknight]

What are Roxas's feelings about Ace post-trauma game? :3c

[twilight_boy]

Relief he's alive is primary, really. He honestly scared the crap out of Roxas after taking that long to come back. Roxas was this close to pretty much telling Jabberwock he'd do anything to get him revived.

That's mixed with concern and sympathy, after seeing his childhood like that. Despite the fact that he found the rage and pain kind of overwhelming, he... he'd have been more o.O at Ace if those *weren't* his feelings at the situation. It's how Roxas himself would have felt. He isn't sure what he thinks of any of it, but I think some part of him made the 'Org XIII could have been this, for me,' analogy. KH is just not as brutal as Ace's canon, in some ways.

Ace, what are your feelings on Zero and Roxas's accidental snooping?

[deadofknight]

Roxas finding out makes Ace SUPER WORRIED because information control is really important as part of how he keeps up the front of being a Good Knight, No Really -- especially in the wake of having attacked the book while Darkness'd. So he is really...not sure how to deal with the fact that whoops the whole being trained to kill thing is now out in the open, relatively speaking, and he doesn't know Roxas well enough to gauge how likely he is to spread that info around. :|bbb There was a moment there of pure panic where he wanted Roxas dead, just to try and...fix things... But Roxas not having a negative reaction at Ace about his memory is...weird to him. He'll probably try to poke Roxas once things have calmed down a little, just to...keep tabs on this new information leak. But mostly he is just...very unsure what is happening, and what is going to happen.

As for Zero! Ace intended for Zero to never find out the true contents of that memory. And...on one hand he is incredibly panicked again because of information leaking but also because he fears being rejected by Zero for being a remorseless killer... But Zero doesn't seem upset about that which is upsetting to Ace because now he doesn't really...get...why Zero is upset about the memory? Yet, he clearly is, and is clearly upset about the content of it but...not in the way Ace expected...it's sort of building on something that's happened previously but basically Ace's BLIND PANIC has been hijacked by a deep confusion as to...what Zero is upset about and how to deal with it. It seems like his memories make Zero sad in a way he had never anticipated they would and so there is a lot of anxiety there.

In both cases now that the memory is open he is trying to get over the PURE PANIC of things getting out of his control and trying to figure out how to run damage control on...everything...while dealing with a lot of other anxieties the accidental snooping has brought to the forefront. It is just an incredibly tense and anxious situation for him and he's going to be kicking himself over not destroying the memory sooner when he realized it was infinitely sharable.

How is Roxas taking Ven's death?

[oceansoftime]

Madokaaaaaaaa '-' '-' I request relationship update /o/

[twilight_boy]

So many feelings! All of them positive, really. Just. Complicated. And intense. There's a lot of trust, and a desire to make things easier for Homura, while knowing she can't. And she's getting more aware every time that there's a crush there, on her end, only she thinks Homura likes someone else, so it's sitting on it time.

She also has this... general impression that her past is so much bigger than she is, and everyone who's not her has it more in hand. Homura especially.

And god, was she ever glad Homura wasn't in that last game. And also glad she'll never know what happened with Kunzite. (Not that she knows, to be glad, but.)

Reverse?

[seldomseen]

do u liek me anemone

[twilight_boy]

Y! I liek u lots! You are snuggly and made of love, and I am protective of you!

Reverse?

[unionoftheheart]

I wish I could find that plurk emote of waving kitty pawpad, I mean hi where we at.

[twilight_boy]

We are in an awesome mess.

By which I mean our CR is fine. Just our characters lives are all the bad, right now. Roxas, on a fundamental level, wants to be able to take care of his peeps. Which does not include, y'know, killing them. Rationally, he knows it wasn't his fault, but he's bad at rational.

Short version: too many feels, which are which again? But I think they're still close, they're still good.

Reverse, from your end of things?